DON'T LEAVE ME : An Enemies To Lovers College Romance (DON'T LOVE HIM Book 2) Read online

  Don't Leave Me

  S.J. Black

  Copyright © 2021 S.J. Black

  All rights reserved

  The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

  No part of this book may be reproduced, or stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without express written permission of the publisher.

  ISBN-13: 9781234567890

  ISBN-10: 1477123456

  Cover design by: S.Ali

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2018675309

  Printed in the United States of America

  SONG LIST FOR ‘DON’T LEAVE ME’

  By S.J. Black

  Space Cowboy - Kacey Musgraves

  Playing Games - Summer Walker

  UN DIA (ONE DAY) - Dua Lipa, J Balvin, Bad Bunny & Tainy

  Sides of Me - Masego

  Deja Vu - Olivia Rodrigo

  Red - Taylor Swift

  Vicio - Selena Gomez

  Question It All - Lucy Rose

  Been Like This - Doja Cat

  Lovesick - RAY BLK

  CHAPTER ONE

  He said my name.

  In a crowd full of people.

  He’s looking aimlessly at the crowd, his mouth moving to the words of his lyrics but he’s searching. Across the sea of people, almost as though he senses me close, he knows that I’m there. His bright, piercing green eyes are determined.

  Relentless.

  Sooner or later, he’s going to find me.

  Isn’t this what I wanted?

  The music blares loudly, the hum of the bass and riff of the guitar sends the crowd wild again, and Kyle starts singing, following the rhythm of the beat. His voice is raspy, melodic and captivating all at once. I’ve never heard him sing before. I know he wanted to create a band but seeing it in person makes it all the more real.

  He’s incredible.

  The girls in front are cheering loudly, jumping and dancing along to the music. They look so carefree, without a worry in the world. I should really be more like that. Let go and let my hair down. Not worry so much.

  If only it were that easy.

  But in this moment, I choose to focus on Kyle and the music, shelving my worries for a second. I allow myself to just be present, swaying along to the music. The tempo increases and it’s an upbeat chorus, catchy and intoxicating. It’s tempting to just give in and forget the reality of my situation. Forget that I’m standing in the crowd of Kyle’s show - the same Kyle that dedicated a song -

  He's dedicated a song to me.

  And just like that, my gaze snaps back to reality.

  No.

  I shouldn’t be here.

  Roman was right. It’s a bad idea to even go back to the past, to reach out to Kyle to see how he’s doing, to satiate my curiosity because as much as I want to be friends, as much as I want to fix things, his dedication before the song screams something else.

  Something else that I know goes beyond friendship.

  The song reaches its hearty conclusion and I quickly use the opportunity to squirm my way out, sifting through the clusters of people. The girl with the red streaks flashes me curious look before looking back onto the stage.

  ✽✽✽

  The rush of cold air hitting my face is a welcome relief from the heat of the venue. I clutch my jacket closer to me and make my way down the street, passing the busy stores and bars. It’s nearly sunset. I just want to get back to the apartment and clear my head. Maybe lie down on the couch and binge watch Friends until Holly comes back.

  Suddenly, a hand reaches out to grab my wrist.

  A broken scream erupts from my mouth. I swivel round, ready to attack the stranger.

  “Whoa, easy there, Ken! It’s me!” Kyle says, putting his hands up.

  Kyle?

  He’s here.

  “Shit,” I murmur, running my hand through my hair.

  His mouth curls into a soft smile, his green eyes traitorously glittering with amusement and that carefree lightness. He’s definitely the same Kyle that melted hearts without evening realising; my eyes scan his face and I note that his jaw is more taut, his cheekbones defined with a maturity that comes with age. It’s only been a year or so but he looks so different. Self-assured. A confident energy that only seems to have grown since our first meeting.

  “A tone of surprise, I hope, and not disappointment,” he smirks.

  “Surprise, definitely surprise,” I breathe. “How - how are you?”

  Kyle watches me carefully, his features soft and gentle as he studies my face. It’s enough to burn my cheeks crimson. A part of me is tempted to cover my face in embarrassment and run away, never to cross paths with him again but I gotta stand strong. This isn’t high school. I can’t just run away when things get difficult.

  Oh, Jesus.

  I sound like Roman.

  Roman.

  A flash of that taut, brooding face whizzes through my mind.

  I clear my throat, trying to regain clarity.

  “You started a band,” I note.

  He doesn’t say a word.

  It’s infuriating.

  I need to know what’s going on in his mind.

  “Are you gonna say something?”

  He shrugs, putting his hands in his pockets.

  “Kyle,” I admonish.

  “It’s nice to have the ball in my court,” he says finally.

  “Sorry?”

  “I always wanted to know what was going on in that little head of yours,” he crouches down to my eye-level and I force a gasp down my throat, refusing to look weak. His eyes search mine. “Now, you’re probably wondering what I’m thinking.”

  You have no idea.

  I swallow deeply. “You got that right.”

  He smirks, looking down before his expression turns solemn. “For one, I’m glad you finally found me.”

  God, what do I say to that?

  The way hands are clamming up with nerves just makes this conversation feel so strange. I clear my throat, levelling his stare.

  “You ghosted me,” I lift an eyebrow.

  “I ghosted you,” he repeats, mulling it over. “Not exactly how that happened.”

  “How’d you figure that one out?” I cross my arms. “You stopped calling, you stopped texting and I…I know I messed up with us. I should have reached out more but when I left Mountford, I tried calling and texting but you never picked up. It was like you disappeared off the face of the earth. I had to find out from Gina that you were alive. Turns out you’re in California too, lead singer of a band and everything.”

  “I knew you were going LA,” he notes wryly.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything - wait, you knew this whole time?”

  “I knew,” he smirks. “You couldn’t keep a poker face to save your life.”

  “So…why didn’t you call?” I say, fiddling with with the hem of my jacket.

  He tilts his head. “Did you miss me?”

  “Of course I did.”

  “Were you holding me close to your heart, sleepless nights -“

  “Kyle, please be serious.”

  “I am,” he leans back. “I’m deadly serious; do you know how long I reached out for you? It killed me not reaching out but I thought I needed space. I thought you needed space from me. I needed a fresh start but I guess…I needed you to meet me halfway.”

  “Halfway?”


  His eyes flash with an unrecognisable passion. “Halfway, Ken.”

  My breathing comes out shaky. “Of course, I should have done this earlier.”

  “You should have,” he smiles. There’s no tone of malice. Just that same boyish teasing affection.

  “You’re still my friend,” I add.

  His expression simmers away. Almost like it was the worst thing to say. And from that moment, I realise that Roman was right. This is not just friendship.

  It’s not as simple as you think.

  “It’s not friendship I want, Ken.”

  My heart beats wildly. I close my hands into a fist, determined to wash away the clammy shakiness. “We’re friends, Kyle. We’ve always been friends.”

  “I’m not looking for a friend, Kennedy,” he averts his gaze, looking around. Kyle meets my stare after a long moment. “You must know.”

  “No,” I murmur, laughing uncomfortably. That happens a lot. When I’m absolutely terrified and nervous as hell, laughter comes out of my mouth like a deranged clown. I can’t even scoop it back up because it’s a domino effect; the fallout just gets bigger and bigger.

  He takes a step forward, close enough that I feel his body heat emanate, brushing against mine. I force myself to take a step back. Kyle frowns but doesn’t follow me.

  “You said we were friends in high school, you promised you we would be friends,” I say. I look up, searching his emerald green eyes.

  “I never promised that I wouldn’t want more.”

  The words pummel into my chest like shooting bullets.

  I lick my lips, speaking quickly. “Look, I know this isn’t probably what you want to hear but…I really do want our friendship to stay as it is. I’ve missed you so much and I regret the way everything played out. Prom was such a long time ago and I should have reached out sooner. I just - I hope it’s not too late.”

  He clenches his jaw, not out of anger, but of resignation. An outcome that he didn’t want. “And I’ve missed you.”

  I put my hand in a gesture for a handshake. A tentative smile creeps up on my lips, my eyebrows raised in anticipation. “Friends?”

  He bites his lip and every second that passes us by, the quicker my offer becomes like sand melting through the hourglass; disappearing fast. Kyle’s eyebrows are knitted together, a hardening in those eyes. He shakes his head, giving me a stoic stare. It’s battle of two choices in his head and I’m hoping our friendship wins. A twitch in his jaw. A twist of his lips. Something so unlike him that a trickle of coldness enters my heart.

  A feeling of dread.

  “I’m not going to do that, Ken. You know it’s not what I want.”

  “But it’s what I want,” I say softly.

  “I can’t give it to you. I won’t. I let you go before, I’m not doing it again,” he says firmly.

  I take my hand back. “Let me go before? What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I liked you the entire time!” He reveals hotly. “I never wanted to be friends in the first place. You must have known that.”

  My blood runs cold. My heart constricts at his words. “What did you just say?”

  “You heard me.”

  “How would I have known that?” I exclaim. “How! You made it very clear that you wanted to be my friend and now, you’re telling me you had other intentions? That you wanted more than just friendship? How was I supposed to know?”

  A steely glint flashes in his eyes. “You can’t pretend to be blind. We shared our dreams together, I spoke to you in a way that I didn’t speak to anyone - not even my best friends - I asked you to prom - all of that was for you. I wanted you,” he clenches his jaw.

  None of this makes sense.

  “I didn’t even know what was going through your head half the time! You shared your dreams with me, yes - but there was so much I didn’t know, Kyle! So much you hid from me. It felt like everyone knew something I didn’t. And now - now - you’re telling me you had feelings me for the entire time and I was supposed to just somehow figure it out? In case you didn’t notice, your communications skills weren’t the best.”

  “Look who’s talking,” he scoffs.

  I straighten my back. “I’ll own up to it, yeah - I sucked at communication. I still suck at it! I bailed whenever things got difficult, I ran away because I was a coward. Because I was scared of getting hurt. And yeah, sometimes, I still mess up. I still do those things but I’m trying, Kyle. I’m trying not to be afraid. In case you hadn’t noticed, I wasn’t safe in high school - your friends were always responsible for that so excuse me, if I didn’t get it right the first time. But I’m doing my best now and I want you as a friend. I miss you and I don’t want to ruin anything again. Please.”

  He looks away, trying to regain his breathing. His jaw is taut with tension. I don’t know if it’s anger or devastation. I don’t speak until he breaks the silence.

  “It’s not enough.”

  A stab hits my heart. A heaviness lodges in my throat but I swallow it down, regaining my voice.

  “So where do we go from here?” I mutter.

  A masculine, deliberate cough breaks us out of our stupor.

  I glance behind Kyle.

  “Good question, where do we go from here?” Roman lifts his eyebrow, watching intently.

  CHAPTER TWO

  This feels like a gladiator battle that I’ve stumbled in the middle of. One where I’m the prize, dangling over a gold chain, ready for the victor’s consumption.

  It just feels so primeval.

  Roman stands tall, walking over to where I stand. He drapes his muscular arm over my shoulder, pulling me close to his side. His warm, spicy scent overwhelms my senses and my body instantly relaxes, familiar and recognising his touch. He dwarfs my height, looming over me like a giant.

  A really possessive, angry giant.

  Kyle’s eyes follow us, watching Roman’s possessiveness in full display. His gaze snaps back to Roman.

  “Don’t let me interrupt your conversation,” Roman says, tilting his head. His grip tightens around my waist. My face blushes out of pure mortification; this is a display, nothing more. A dick-measuring contest, practically. I try to wiggle my way out but it’s practically impossible trying to overpower a quarterback.

  “Stop it,” I mutter under my breath.

  Roman pretends he didn’t hear it.

  “It’s been a while, Roman,” Kyle says in a gravelly tone. The lightheartedness from earlier is gone, extinguished out by this mature, contemplative Kyle, the one that I never used to see in high school. Maybe he was always there but I never saw it - is this what everyone else saw?

  “It has. See you don’t waste time,” he says derisively. He tilts his head, body tight with tension. “Is it not enough that you have everything else?”

  Kyle clenches his jaw. “This again.”

  “What? What are you guys talking about?” I look up to Roman but he doesn’t address me, his focus is latched onto Kyle’s stormy expression.

  God, boys.

  I bite back a growl and focus on Kyle, ignoring the fact that Roman’s hand presses into my waist, brushing against my skin.

  “Is someone going to explain what’s going on or am I just standing here like chopped liver?”

  Kyle’s green eyes flash to mine, brimming with an unspoken message. He shakes his head, looking at Roman. “Ask him.”

  “I’m asking both of you - Roman, will you let me go!” I grind out, pushing at his grip. I need to focus and having him so close to me is just impossible. It’s like he knows it too - knows that when he touches me, I can’t hide my instinctive reaction to his scent, to his warmth.

  Roman tugs me closer.

  I’m about to give him a piece of my mind but when my gaze falls on his face, the words die on my tongue.

  Fear.

  Roman’s afraid.

  There’s a pained fury swimming in his cerulean eyes but a stab of hurt lingers there; an undercurrent of longing and
desperation. A fear of losing something precious. The more he holds on tighter, the more he pleads with his body for me to stay, an ache that can only be relieved with the promise of staying.

  I look down, unable to stare at him any longer without feeling the pinch in my heart.

  His eyes speak a thousand words without ever uttering a sound.

  “Leave,” Roman grinds out.

  The word is harsh, rasped with bitterness. Is he talking to me? But his arm are still circled tightly around my waist, no release or inch of freedom showing that he meant me.

  Kyle inhales a sharp breath.

  There’s no warmth in there.

  Not for Roman.

  “Please, Kyle,” I say.

  His gaze moves slowly to mine. Like an alarm ringing, he wakes out of his stupor. He nods once, taking a step back before giving me a purposeful, intense glance. “This isn’t over, Ken.”

  Roman sucks in a harsh breath. His fist is clenched near the skin of my stomach and I force the dread and anxiety away, trying to keep calm in this gladiator stand-off between two rivals.

  Kyle swallows deeply, turning around and heading back inside the venue. It’s just Roman holding me tight in the sunset.

  I inch to move away but he doesn’t let go.

  “Roman?”

  “Just -“ He rasps hoarsely, running his other hand through my hair. “Just let me stay here a minute. Please.”

  Call me weak but the softness in his tone plunders down my defenses.

  “Okay,” I murmur softly.

  At my acceptance, he suddenly wraps his strong arms around my soft body, holding me snug against his chest. He leans forward, my head resting under his chin as he strokes the small of back, drawing warm circles. A tingle of goosebumps explode all over my cool skin. Every part of my body is aware, heightened by his presence and aching for more.

  More intimacy.

  More of him.

  My hands wrap around his waist. I let my head rest on his jacket that covers his hard, rippled torso. His heart thuds wildly before it slowly fades into a calmer, relaxed tempo. As my skin warms at his touch, my mind remembers begins to remember every ridge, every curve of his body when we made love and the sensations come flooding back; the peace he made me feel.